stress and frustrated

arg...my manager is on leave for three days and my boss is away...how the hell am i gonna do my work ? so busy today...my mind going crazy...and i hate handling money...but the good thing was i can do anything i want...that is if i got nothing to do though...




geez..you know what...i don't think i'm suited for my current job as a clerk...i don't know why the hell i took these job...at first it wasn't so bad but every year things got harder and harder. i'm not sure whether to be happy but obviously i'm not right now.


i feel like a ship wrecked *sigh* sinking slowly and slowly...my work mate really not cooperating with me...it's just so unfair...now sometimes my work mate asked for favor regardless if it's work or not...i do my best to do it but when it comes i'm the one who asked them..i don't think they really do it their best...whatever from now on i definitely won't do whatever they asked me to do unless of course it's about work..

when talking just not enough

its not my fault for being single up to now. don't try asking me whether i had a bf or not coz me myself don't know what and how to answer that. i'm just not really into relationship or maybe i am but don't have someone really special. i'm picky .., there these one guy i know.. age probably 30+ , a bit thin and short probably 4' , i actually don't want to be too close with him , before when i was working in c.h , he came by with his boss . his boss ask me any nice movie or dvd so as a worker there i try my best to interact with them. i smile and make a joke but




unfortunately he got carried away just like that. why? yes.. he's kinda friendly but too friendly is just plain annoying. so he came by so many times and i thought to myself hell why not let he be my friend. he seems nice and normal. the longer i know him things was beginning to be a bit different. he soon clinging near me more and more . i still remember that nite he was calling me via hp and propose me to be his gf , i told him that i just wana be friend and nothing more. telling him that he doesn't know me that well and vice versa. i'm being honest when i told him that i'm a not interested and having relationship is not in my list , for me my job is much more important and hey we seems not compatible with each other. he actually reply me with a positive reaction , saying that...someday..i probably will change my mind and will wait for me till then.. duh how dumb could he be? by that time i probably ran off with someone else.



so i thought after i told him my feelings and my true intentions of becoming just friends he would change. but nothing change much..when i hang out with him..yeah sure it's nice but i just dont want people to think that we have a thing for each other. i actually want him to treat me like one of those guys treat each others, i don't want to be treat like a lady or too nice. it's embarrasing me when i'm walking alone with him , plus he couldn't put his hand still because there's a time when he want to hold me in his hands .oh please stop that.. its eeww...



thats what couple do , he asked me when can we get married ..so i snapped and got angry with him. its not once he asked me that , and surely its not twice either, these had to stop so i take it all out on him. rejecting him honestly . i can be bitchy sometimes. and i still remember the time i actually punch him, . huh i want to punch him so many time on his face but i don't want any trouble . besides it'll be a waste of time doing it.

price of favor

yes...life is so much harder when you know that you don't have anyone you could depend on. i really do hope that i can learn to trust people because from my past experienced some people are mean and do what they can just to take advantages , meaning they just think of themselves more than others. this unthoughtful act and selfishness really pissed me off sometimes , they think their life is much easier doing that when they should think the bad effect they made on other people. i mean i want to help them but please...asking me for help is a waste of time. believe me i do want them to help me from time to time but inside me i had what you called an ego. i dont want to be helped unless i really want them to. nowadays some people are dirty minded, when i asked them for help , either they're trying to ignore or asking for other thing in return..in which i despised doing. i mean if they had asked for interest, or asking me to pay double then it's okay but when they started to asked about returning the favor with sexual thing ..man.. just thinking about it makes me puke .

no!..i didn't mean to say "yes"

man i shouldn't say yes...urgh why me? why? last week these girl went to my house...i mean i was pretty much surprised...there i was panicking like the world gonna end .. geez i couldn't believe my mom let you in and making you wait for me..duh~ if you got business with my parents could you please leave me out of it..i'm totally not interested...but..*sigh* wish that i got my own car so that i wouldn't have to go home so early...huh~ wishing it so badly so that i can drive away every time i see some unwanted guest in my house..., anyway girl...i know it's you...you did gave me a missed call on my hp but hey i'm sorry i don't wanna answer you...and you did call me again with my home phone number ...eheh thank god i told my parents to tell you i was asleep..somehow i'm not really interested answering you're calls. coz i know if i answered it..you probably gonna come by or asking me out..you do all the talking and i do the nodding. nah~ ...*sigh* tmrw you're offday..my instinct says you gonna call me again...and you probably gonna be there waiting....urg the pressure...p.s: i hate it when you bring along your aunt...emmph oh yeah thanx for bringing my bag to the office the other day,

happy birthday y'all

j.d...well today going to the shop and bought chocolates just for you...not sure whether it's good but it does look like it...





anyways to taz...sorry i forgot you're birthday ...thanx for reminding me but when i think about it...it seems to me that you also kinda forgot my birthday ..guess we're even ..okay....eheh it's okay if you forgot my birthday taz coz as you can see sometimes i forgot when is my birthday too..it's not really a big a deal...cheh~ so these month-December is you're birthday right...you did asked me about your present...sorry couldn't afford to buy one but i promise to give you on February...that is if i still remember it and if you're still asking about it..*wishing you forgot about it by then* hehehe ...oh yeah happy birthday too to "nur" ...you're so kind to me ..uh~ hope you enjoyed the black forest cake that i bought for ya...it looks tasty don't you think...thanks for being a sweet friend and you did help me alot so i think you deserved the cake. i was wondering what present should i give you..but i don't know what you like...anyways hope you will stay happy always. and lastly to bro....seriously is it your birthday these month too..? *tsk tsk* sorry did't realized it till you told me...um okay for my part the good thing is i'm really happy seeing you again and you seems happy too and all and the bad thing ..well sorry no present for ya..didn't go to your party but hey happy birthday to you.