Saturday, September 13, 2008
collection of jokes
Q: what did the gangster's son tell his dad when he failed his examination?
A: Dad they questioned me for 3 hours but i never told them anything.
A teacher asked her class for sentences using the word "beans" ...
"My father grows beans" said one student
"My mother cooks beans" said another,
Then little johnny spoke up : " We are all human beans"
A fellow walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had. He said "Shingles." So she took down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat.
A few minutes later a nurse's aid came out and asked him what he had. He said, "Shingles" , So she took down his height, weight, a complete medical history and told him to wait in the examining room.
Ten minutes later a nurse came in and asked him what he had. He said "Shingles." So she gave him a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, told him to take off all his clothes and wait for the doctor.
fifteen minutes later the doctor came in and asked him what he had. He said, "Shingles." The doctor said "Where?".. He said, "Outside in the truck. Where do you want them?"
"Doctor, doctor! i'm terribly worried. I keep seeing pink stripe crocodiles every time t try to get to sleep."
"Have you seen a psychiatrist?"
"no...- i only seen pink stripe crocodiles"
A man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?" the doctor queries.
"NO YOU IDIOT!" the man shouts, "THIS IS HER HUSBAND!"
Patient: " always see a blurry spots before my eyes."
Doctor: "here try these new glasses.'
Patient: "Sure , now i see the spots much clearer"
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